Friday, March 14, 2008

"In a surprising turn of events, NY Governor Eliot Spitzer has filed a lawsuit against “Kristen”, a prostitute for the Emperor’s Club prostitution ring. Spitzer’s complaint alleges that “Kristen’s” refusal to allow him to sleep with her bareback, while allegedly knowing of his sexual addiction, constituted unfair exploitation of an ADA-protected disability."


I'm presuming this is fiction, and I'm wishing I'd written it myself.


Story

However...

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

She was feeling very glazed-over. It was unreal. Yeah, he was a prick, and he'd always treated her badly.

But it was still so unfair. She's always kept her part of the bargain. Supportive wife, prim and proper. And here he was, not only porking that chick—how many of them were there at that "club"?—but getting caught. Publicly. And now she had to stand behind him, humiliated, as his supportive wife, while all she really wanted to do was to strangle him. Maybe drown him. Or castrate him with her own hands. Which was more painful?

Yeah, he was making all the right apologies. But really, if he was sincerely sorry, it had to be for being caught. Because he knew it was the wrong thing to do, but did it anyway.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * '

The Principal put down the phone.

Her secretary looked at her and immediately realized the gravity of the situation. "We're going to have to do an intervention, aren't we?" she asked.

"There's no way around it." The Principal sipped her tea, now rapidly cooling. "Men who are ambitious and arrogant enough to want to be in public office should be automatically disqualified from the political process. It's all a matter of the hormones. Excessively masculinized males are unable to behave rationally when they think about females. They listen only to their cocks. All too often they end up doing all their thinking with the small head, behaving like some lower form of life—the lower forms of life that they are.

"All his life he's been competing against other males for power. Jockeying for position. He sees life as a zero sum game. He has been driven by the need to knock down other males and get more of that power for himself. It's pointless competitiveness to the extreme. He's addicted to it. He can never get enough power.

"He's going to be a tough nut to crack. Probably we should address the testosterone issue first. That has got to go. No way around it."


* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

The longsuffering wife put down the receiver with a little smile on her face. "Hey, honey. Don't you think we should get away for a little while? I know a place where we can get some respite from the damned reporters..."

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