Sunday, July 23, 2006

The new face of Internet trolls


First, we need some definitions, nomenclature. What is a troll?


According to a must-read article in Wikipedia, "a troll is someone who comes into an established community such as an online discussion forum, and posts inflammatory, rude, repetitive or offensive messages designed intentionally to annoy and antagonize the existing members or disrupt the flow of discussion, including the personal attack of calling others trolls."


Not only will trolls begin bizarre threads for the purpose of creating dissention, they will hijack threads not about their favorite topics, take on alternate identities in order to keep flames fanned by pretending to carry on discussion, attack others not in complete agreement, and beg for help in defending themselves from the persecution.


The majority of site members try to reason with trolls or give help, regardless of how increasingly absurd the trolls make their situation appear. Members will fall all over each other to be helpful, and rarely does anyone critically analyze the story of the troll, which would not stand scrutiny.


This is a standard description of an Internet troll, a person who comes to a site for the purpose of raising hell and setting members against each other.


Keep in mind that though the Internet is an anonymous place, trolls often are not anonymous. They may be in a position beyond reproach, like one I observed on several food and wine oriented boards. Because this person was rich, confident, and semi-famous, he got deference from board members, moderators, and owners, then immediately started posting absurd threads and hijacking other threads back to a few favorite topics - topics so absurd on their face that no meaningful discussion really could occur - filled with personal attacks on other board members. The length of time it took to ban this person on a board was in proportion to what I would call the "sucking up quotient" of the board owner. In other words, it took about two years. Since the owner of this particular board was a celebrity ass-licker, the person was not banned until after many members had complained and then left, and many members had chosen sides. The two groups were, of course, "he has a right to speak his mind" and "STFU and go start your own board if you don't like it". There were a great many members banned in the rift, and an overhaul of ongoing moderation standards.


In fact, with improved moderation on many boards, trolls like this are rarely seen.


That's not the kind of troll I want to discuss today. I'm thinking of a somewhat different type of forum troll. This person shows up at a forum where they have a sincere interest, but generally is completely ignorant about the topic. They ask for endless advice in dealing with their situation, revealing in excrutiating detail things that just don't add up. Their endless questions are met, again and again, with flurries of posts from helpful board members who, as always, fall all over themselves in what appears to be a helpfulness competition.


The troll in fact never does seem to take any of the advice given. His situation is surrealistically fluid, impossible to pin down. He endlessly floods the board with "pity" posts: Help me!


If someone is to raise a question about a discrepancy ("You're having trouble thinking? Maybe it was all that dope you told us you smoked yesterday...") other board members immediately rise to the aid of this person, demanding that one and all should provide him with unconditional support in this, his time of need.


Board members who disagree with the troll keep their thoughts to themselves or share them in PMs to avoid being attacked themselves.


Ultimately it appears that it is impossible to determine whether the troll is emotionally unstable or merely a fictional device being used by a malicious interloper.


How does it end? I can't say that I know. One board I belonged to I left over a poster who dominated discussion in this way. The board just got too boring. A year later I happened back to that board and saw that that poster was no longer posting but was still a member in good standing. She bored herself off the board?


I'm currently observing two other situations like this on two very different boards I belong to. Ultimately the situations will resolve themselves, but til then, who knows? I will keep you updated.

Wednesday, July 19, 2006

Had a call last night...



From a guy who wanted a Mistress. It seems he wanted the standard Mistress experience, at least I guess so, which is really not what I do. I'm not even sure what those other girls do to their males.


I told him that my specialty is roleplay. and described (briefly) my favorite roleplay, that of the Principal in her office, correcting bad boy in need of firm guidance. He was a little reluctant, but decided to suspend disbelief and go with it.


Well my goodness. Not only did we manage to get through the whole lecture, but afterwards he was raving about how my technique sent him into subspace.


Mind control. Works for me.

Wednesday, July 12, 2006

Scientists making progress in eliminating the need for men

Just kidding, guys, but I got your attention, didn't I? What these scientists did was develop a procedure that turned mouse embryonic stem cells into viable mouse sperm cells. They then used these sperm cells to fertilize eggs, which resulted in seven baby mice being born, six of which reached adulthood, There were some developmental issues, but overall a nice first try.


Scientists are theorizing that this might become a useful procedure for producing sperm for a man who is himself incapable of sperm production, provided it also becomes possible to harvest and grow stem cells from his blood.


I think this would be a great basis for a work of fiction.


'Lab-made sperm' fertility hope

Tuesday, July 04, 2006

There's another dumbass born every day!

Ok, this guy has been posting in a phone sex forum for about a month. He's styled himself as a male PSO, you know, one of those straight guys who is willing to bash fags to get a buck, but couldn't act his way out of a bucket to do gay sex calls and make some real money. Because, you see, what he really wants is women to call him and pay him for phone. In a fair world, the women would be calling him because he's just plain good - a real man - instead of laughing at him, as they are. And if they're not going to be calling him, they should stop exploiting the sex drives of men and get into some other line of work.


Appropriate sound effect


I couldn't help but respond, to toy with him. It makes me feel like a cat that swats a baby mouse back and forth before finally moving in for the kill.


So I'll reproduce here for you what I wrote. I don't intend to ask his permission to quote him, so I won't be reproducing his words.



It is solely an issue of supply and demand. You guys stop calling and we'll find a different line of work.


The choice is really yours, and always has been. You can't change the men around you, but you can change yourself. You are neither a victim nor a slave to your sex drive, the same as with all other customers on the site - unless you have chosen to be.


You just need to learn to come to grips with the fact that evolution has resulted in an excess male sexual capacity. Survival of the species was ensured by having males ready to procreate during that brief time in the reproductive cycle when females are fertile. Unfortunately for you males, now that the species is no longer in danger of extinction this has become the challenge for you, wanting sex more often than the females around you have need of it. But as I always say, more challenge will give you males the opportunity to build more character.


Lots of guys do control their sex drives and don't call us on the site, nor do they become speakers for the purpose of hanging with the phone hos. If you're not a slave to your sex drive, then you can walk away from this site. If you stay and cling to what you say you abhor, your actions are speaking much louder than your words, regardless of what font size you may choose to use..


So the time has finally arrived to turn your glance down to gaze at your glistening ruby slippers, click your bejeweled heels and murmur three times, "There's no place like home...there's no place like home...there's no place like home..."